SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

She reviewed some profiles on a dating app. She thought about it instead of shutting it down immediately. Who has the membership on that app? Is it one of the friend's account or did they set up a profile for your wife? If it the friend's account, is that friend married?

Actually, what she said is that those men aren't from Tinder or dating apps. They're friends, friends of friends, colleagues, or clients from our high-society circle. It's definitely not Tinder or anything like that

You have at least two problems that I can identify and I'm no expert. Your wife is under extreme stress and has thought about having an affair with someone else to relieve it. She has friends actively lobbying her to do that and also lobbying you to allow it. She's in a friend relationship with people who find this to be normal.

Look, she's human too. She was honest with me instead of lying. I would have been much more hurt if she had lied and I found out later.
I understand what you're saying, and I know it's true. But what can I do? I can't even walk, let alone do anything without help. How can I realistically stop her if she notices other attractive men or develops feelings for someone she meets or spends time with?

These are not friends of the marriage and I assume that you aren't going to press her to cut them off

As for her friend group, I could ask her to cut them off, but is that really a good idea? They're her support system

Relieve you wife of the stress of taking care of you and also have you not be 100% dependent on her if things go another way.

If possible, I'll move us to another home, or I'll stay with my parents for a while. I don't know if she'll allow me to do that, but I'm sure she won't leave me or cheat on me.

I only brought up that question because someone suggested I ask it in my last post. That's all. I know my marriage and my wife better than anyone, so you can trust me on that.

Ok, I get it. It's not possible to have some sort of intimacy right now. Let alone SEX. Let's just leave it at that.
I am nurse. And I've seen many conditions.

Still, it has been only 10 MONTHS. Ten months ago, you could have died right?

Doctors are telling you there's hope, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you for understanding. These last 10 months have been incredibly long for me. I almost died. Sometimes I don't know why God saved me just to live like this and feel like I'm causing problems for everyone. Those thoughts hit me from time to time.

The doctors keep telling me there's hope, but they also said my body and health will never be the same as before. It's going to be a long road. They've told me it will take at least another two years, and it could even take longer.

And still you're here because your wife is thinking about banging random dudes.
After 10 months.
If it would have been 3-5 years. Ok, I understand

Yes, she wants to have sex with her husband, but her husband can't do anything right now. At the same time, her friends are encouraging her to sleep with other men, and that hurts me. Honestly, I'm not angry at anyone.

Everyone is different. For her, I'm simply not physically available for at least the next two years, or maybe even longer. But as I've said before, opening our marriage is not our first option. We're both going to try everything we can, and hopefully we'll find a solution that works for us.

No, I wouldn't have done anything with another woman. But when she mentioned those other possibilities, I'll be honest—I felt something. We're only human, and our emotions don't always listen to us.

I'll be completely honest about where I stand.

Do I want to open our marriage? No. I don't want to, and it would hurt me.

Does that mean it's completely off the table? No. It would only ever be our last option, after we've tried everything else. I'm willing to try every possible solution first because I don't want to lose the exclusivity of our marriage.

Your home environment is already a kind of remedy—I’ve seen quite a few people who’ve really blossomed again at home. Please don’t give up — it’s just such a shame that your friends, and yes, your wife as well, have now derailed part of this healing process.

Please, please don’t open up your marriage. Go searching the internet specifically for the negative aspects, the downsides, and the stories where it didn’t work out — you’ll find far more of those negative aspects than positive ones, because the thing is, people don’t "become" polyamorous; you either are or you aren’t.
I guarantee you — and I’m sorry for the choice of words — your wife will be out sleeping around until the cows come home, and you’ll be sitting at home, growing bitter.

Thanks for answering and keeping us updated. My mind and heart is with you and I hope you'll overcome this heartbreaking situation.

But if her friends can’t really understand that her frustration was about the future and what lies ahead, and think it was all about an itch in her… well… you know where… then her friends are seriously lacking.

Or maybe those friends are projecting their own fantasies their ego craves but never found the chance to get them to emerge without consequences.

And now a friend could be the test drive to the fantasies!
If only they can build a narrative around in a way that she gets no fallout from cheating on her husband, then maybe they can work around some way to apply this model to themselves and fuck those guy too!

Fantastic!

(Ever wondered how they already had stallions profiled and ready for the mount? Just pick and go? Yeah exactly they already have an opening for themselves the friendly ladies, now they have a chance to see if it’s safe to indulge and not risking their livelihood)

Call me a sinner for thinking badly, but you often hit the mark 🎯

I absolutely agree with Bigger he hit every dissonance there is.

It’s cheating reframing abusing your current condition (and your wife to scout ahead for their cravings)

Johnn, even Stephen Hawkins got women. You should google him.

The problem is less your physical condition, and more your lack of fight. I guarantee you that if you showed more gumption--a helluva lot more than you are showing here--your wife would probably be much happier.