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Ran into her again today. After the first 4 years post DDay, and running in almost once a week or two….I’ve had nearly 3 years for nothing. Thankfully, while my heart was pounding out of my chest, I just looked through her and continued on my tasks. I think she was more visibly shaken than I. (I hope).

FWH handled is well. I messaged him and eventually, when I knew I was out of ear shot….talked to him on the phone.

What I really need in times like this is for him to say….I’m really glad you gave me a second chance. I’m really glad that you stayed. Those run ins make me feel not good enough on a cellular level. Tried to just keep reminding myself of all the ways I’ve "won". Hard!

It does get easier over time. Thankfully my only run in with her AP was of my own accord. My D-Day was on a Thursday afternoon and Monday morning I drove to her workplace and had a 20-minute face-to-face conversation with him

There was zero anger in me because I was just a shell of a man at this point. It was a great speech. Basically I said I thought I was doing everything to make her happy and I thought she was but she wasn't and instead of coming to me she turned to you, another man, to make her feel good about herself

I'm sure he was uncomfortable because he is a police officer assigned to work at the high school. I walked in, asked the receptionist to speak to the rso, she asked for my ID so she instantly knew I was the husband of a co-worker, she paged him down to the office, he strutted it in with his gun his badge his vest his flat top haircut, smiling, said how can I help you and I said is there somewhere we can talk

At this point he didn't know who I was but when we walked out into the foyer I said my name is and I am so and so's husband. The smile left his face and he stuck out his hand and said I owe you an apology and I just waved him off. I said I'm not here for an apology and that's when I started my 20 minute speech

Honestly my hope was that my words would resonate with him and he would stop fooling around with married women and another married guy wouldn't have 27 years of his life destroyed but it was a foolish hope because after my wife he moved on to the social worker and ended up banging her not only in his car but on her desk inside the school

My wife's job provides the health insurance for our family and as a father I have to put my kids first so instead of telling her to quit and find another job I had to deal with her going to work knowing he was there. I think this went on for over a year and every God damn time I had to go to that school for something my stress level would go through the ceiling

When my middle boy graduated we went to the school for the ceremony and he was there. My wife says she didn't see him but I certainly did

5 months after D-Day I reached out to his wife and told her what was going on. She was devastated because this wasn't his first affair and while this was going on she was waiting to have surgery to find out if she had breast cancer. What a great husband

Several months after that she told me he was up for a promotion which would take him out of the school and that made me feel better. But every time I'm driving and I see a police car from that municipality my first thought "is he driving that car."

When my 14-year-old freshman graduates in 3.5 years I will never again have to set foot in that building. I used to love volunteering for events there but her affair robbed me of that as well. Until then every time I have to go there for an event I am reminded the entire time I am there

[This message edited by WB1340 at 11:34 AM, Saturday, February 7th]

One of my husband’s APs was an elected official in a town near where we live.

My husband had a contract with that town.

There came a time when he had to attend a function where she would be present as one of several political people.

My husband went with me to choose an outfit to wear. He took me with him because he felt like it was important to make sure I knew exactly what happened while he was there in the same place she was.

I was nervous. She saw me and actually kind of ran/fast-walked back the other direction and stayed hidden as much as possible.

I decided that I was the powerful one, and nothing to be ashamed of. I purposely got in the greeting line, shook her hand, smiled really big and looked her in the eye and told her not to be afraid of me, I wasn’t going to kick her ass … "today".

I have never seen her again. We live in the same rural area, and this was in 2006.

In this case, I was at the GYM. That’s where a lot of our run in tended to be. We’re both triathletes. I happened to go to a spin class that you usually have to go in early it’s so popular. I got there early, sat in front like the former honor roll student that I am. She snuck in the back at the last minute. I decided that I wouldn’t let her ruin my class…one I’ve been going to for the last 4 yrs without seeing her. Watched my heart rate jump to 180.

Because I started early, I left early. I had an appointment

So I was in the locker room on my own. She didn’t finish the class either and followed me to the locker room. I saw her put on a coat without showering and then take the coat off, walk by me to shower.

In my mind she was leaving, or trying to catch me in the locker room or something, IDK. The first couple of years this happened every week. Then it didn’t happen for so long, I thought she’d quit the gym.

In the moment, I look through her and get on with what I’m doing. But, it felt like she was going to say something to me. Finished my stuff and fell apart in the car. FWH is handling it well.

That morning because I hadn’t run into her in so long was the first time in years that I didn’t make a conscious effort to scan the parking lot for her car

[This message edited by Ladybugmaam at 3:53 PM, Saturday, February 7th]